"Good Love"

So this weekend was a big one in the Erhart household!  Jade and I had a marriage conference called "Good Love"  and it was going to be our very 1st night away from the kiddos in over a year!  If you do the math that means the very 1st night away from my little princess presto Harper!  As those of you who are mothers I am sure you know this very feeling of guilt, sadness, and regret.  I feel as if I need to explain and elaborate on these 3 feelings!

1.  Guilt-  as you drive away you get this sense of why am I leaving them?  I am there Mother?!   I don't deserve time away!  What if I miss something special??  What if something happens while I am gone?  (these are a few of my "guilt" thoughts)

2.  Sadness-  you miss them so much it makes you sad and sometimes even makes you cry!  After all we did carry these children of ours in our womb for 40 weeks (10 months if you do the math) and birth them into this scary world (sad but true) so anyway in that we get sad when we have time away even though its healthy and to be honest feels really good!  Which is an oxymorone!

3.  Regret-as the night carries on and you start to enjoy yourself you suddenly start to ask yourself the questions "what if"  what if Harper wakes up in the middle of the night and needs me?  What if someone breaks in and steals them (this one makes me laugh cause its such a crazy thought)  you feel this sense of regret that you left them and you want to go home!

I am sure all of you can relate to at least one of these feeling when it comes to our children and leaving them whether its one hour or 2 weeks! That being said Jade and I had won a free hotel stay for Friday night after the conference at the Westin!  This hotel just so happens to be a few blocks from our house!  Coincidentally Danielle (my sister) didn't work all weekend so she was planning on helping us with the kids anyway.  When Danielle and some of my good friends caught wind that we had won the stay at the Westin they all told us the same thing!  Enjoy the night just the two of you, you deserve it!  Anyway I knew this would be tough on me because its hard for me to leave Harper for an hour let alone all night!  But Danielle insisted she would take care of it and everything would be fine and since I trust her completely we decided to take advatage!  So we did just that!  Our "Good Love" conference was awesome Friday night and then off to some "us" time we went!   As we sat there talking we ended  up getting into a tiff!  Seriously the one night together just the two of us and this is how we are going to use it!!!!!  Not to mention we were just at a marriage conference that was amazing!  We left the restaurant we were at and had a silent walk back to the room.  All I was thinking was great we don't even have the kids here to distract us so we can avoid each other!  Anyway we both looked at each other and decided this is stupid lets just enjoy our night together and not fight over a checking account!  Yes a checking account almost ruined our special time together!  Well with all that being said I learned a lot this weekend and it was great to get some one on one time with the hubster!  I think in the season of life we are in its so easy to get wrapped up in everything else and forget about each other!  Well it was a close call to a waste of a night away but we both swallowed our pride and moved on!  The best news of all ....Danielle survived with the kids!  Harper slept 12 hours straight through the night and the boys slept with  Auntie in our king size bed!  We all had a great weekend!  A great take away point is that love is not a feeling its a choice!  I choose love!

Love and Blessings!